Why Can't 2 Become 1?

 So, I continue to see Weedman, but because it is physical, there are no emotional attraction towards him. Instead, there is an emotional attraction towards my trainer, who is often referred to as Crush Trainer (not to be mistaken by Douche Bag Mike and Wall Fuck Trainer). But obviously my relationship with Crush Trainer is a forced relationship, I pay him to meet me, so we are not exactly friends.... Just crushing on the side.

Stats on Crush Trainer:

  • 9 years younger from my real age
  • Seems to have his shit together
  • drivers standard (has a newer model of my car)
  • rides a motorcycle (HOT)
  • reads
  • stunt actor 
  • is into WWII, even though it's more on the war/battalion side while I am interested in the Nazi and Holocaust side
  • mature - looks young, but he is mature
When I had my initial call for an assessment to work with a physio trainer, I knew I wanted my Crush Trainer; not because I thought he was cute, but because I have seen him with his clients. He is a mature trainer who is not on his phone texting, he is punctual, and engages his clients. I knew he worked in the mornings, so I told the person on the phone I can only workout in the mornings. Then our relationship was forged.

Crush Trainer knew I was looking for a job and he had recommended me to his friend who was looking for an assistant. There was a little bit of a miscommunication, as I thought his friend's firm was looking for an assistant for their client (they are a recruiting firm), but it turned out he was looking for an assistant for himself. Needless to say, I didn't get the job, but I was thankful that he had recommended me. At this point we had only known each other for 2-3 months, he really didn't have to do that, but I was/am really thankful.

During my work outs, we do have engaging and intellectual conversations. He is not as dumb unlike my previous trainers, we have intellectual conversations and form opinions of what is happening/happened in society and discuss current events. As for my Wall Fuck Trainer, he didn't understand why we had to lockdown and wear masks during Covid, he was/is a fighter, perhaps he got hit in the head one too many times.  

Even though he is younger, he has done things that I have always wanted to do. He can ride horses, he has a motorcycle, he sky dives (wants his certification in that), and he is a precision driver.... All things I want to do!! This made me realize that I need to do what I want, as he says "Analysis by Paralysis". He knows so many random sayings, quite wise for his age. He also thinks I am funny, and suggested I go to Absolute comedy club to learn about stand up comedy.

I met up with Weedman for our bi-weekly fuck session.  He saw that I got a digital piano and started tinkering with it. He doesn't have professional talent, but his talent definitely supersedes my talent. I can only play what is written, while he can play different melodies using the options that the digital piano offers. He would definitely have more fun playing my piano than I, as I only need a classic piano. He is so passionate about music and honing this skills he watches a lot of YouTube to practice and fine tune. One of my favourite melodies that have been sampled many times, he was able to tell me the original composer and song. A Dream by DeBarge, is one of my favourite melodies of all time: Tupac (I Ain't Mad at Cha), Big L (American Dream),  Blackstreet (Don't Leave), and Keisha Chante (Unpredictable) are some of the artists that have sampled A Dream.

Weedman and I still have great conversation when we meet, but not during the week. We do not converse at all. Which is fine because I am not actually curious or concerned as to how he is doing. Obviously if it was bad, then I would care, but nothing has changed since we met. 

Both these men have qualities that I want in one guy! Why can't they just mesh and blend into one person?

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